


Adventures in Stan Land

by Somethin_Strange



Series: the end of all we know [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abusive Filbrick Pines, Alternate Universe - Relativity Falls, Angst, Bisexual Stan Pines, Demonic Possession, Dreams vs. Reality, Family, Filbrick Pines can suck a lemon, Gay Ford Pines, Im trying my best here, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Important Conversations, Mabel Land, Manipulation, Not Beta Read, Stan Pines Needs A Hug, Stanley needs a hug: the musical, Weirdmageddon, Young Ford Pines, Young Stan Pines, Young Stan Twins, its gets worse then better then worse then better then-, or well technically Stan Land
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethin_Strange/pseuds/Somethin_Strange
Summary: And Bill Cipher was laughing.“HERE’S THE SAFESPACE I PROMISED, LITTLE FISH! GOODNIGHT!”“wait waIT WAIT-” Stan protested before Cipher snapped his fingers.The last thing he saw was a red bubble forming as a prison before his vision cut to black.------------------In Relativity Falls, Stanley Pines is trapped in a paradise of his own making after a fight with his brother. But is this paradise really as great as it first appears? And will Ford get to him in time to stop Weirdmaggedon?
Relationships: Bill Cipher & Stan Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, More to be added - Relationship, NOT Stancest
Series: the end of all we know [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875271
Comments: 65
Kudos: 120





	1. Broken Snowglobes, Broken Promises

_Stupid Grunkle Dipper! Stupid apprenticeship! Stupid Stanford!_

Stan ran as fast as he could into the woods, clutching his shoulder. His own brother had BRANDED him over a stupid apprenticeship with Grunkle Dipper. Did Ford even REALIZE what he was doing to him?

Ford was the only thing keeping him sane in Glass Shard Beach. The only person who actually cared about him and stuck by his side.

And now Ford was leaving him too.

The backpack he had grabbed on the way out beat mercilessly against his injured shoulder as he ran; The pain keeping him grounded and his thoughts away from Dad and the bullies and yelling people and the hitting-

Until it hurt too bad and he collapsed into the grass, clutching onto a nearby tree for support.

It hurt, it hurt, everything hurt so bad- The boy panted and gasped for air as pain radiated from the burn; The pain traveled through his veins and leached out all his energy.

It would be so much easier to just lay down and give up, wouldn’t it? Grauntie Mabel would be sad, sure, but Sixer was gonna leave him behind anyway. Plus, Grunkle Dipper always liked Ford more.

And Dad wouldn’t care either way.

To say Stan's feelings were hurt at the moment was an understatement. Waves of emotion came and beat at his brain; Aching sadness mixed with heart-stopping terror mixed with anger that burned like fire buzzed and swirled in his head.

The boy shifted until he was on his stomach in the grass, curling up around the backpack in a fetal position. He felt like crying- no, screaming- no, crying AND screaming AND punching at something, anything.

It isn’t fair.

What had he done wrong?

Why did Sixer want to leave him?

Why does he hate Stan so much, enough to brand him? What did he do?

“I...I just want him not to leave me…” Stan whispered to no one.

“That might be possible!”

Stan flinched HARD for a moment. He then relaxed a little bit:

It was the time traveler guy.

This guy hadn’t physically hurt him before. Not like Dad.

“K-kid? You alive down t-there?”

Using all of his remaining energy, Stan pulled himself up, in the process wiping away his tears. The uninjured side of his back now rested against the tree, keeping him upright. In front of him stood the time travel guy, Blendin Blandin.

(Yes, Stan did actually know his name, even if he pretended he didn’t.)

The time traveler smiled. “Y-you just don’t want him to leave you, right? Did I hear that right?”

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” He pulled his bag closer to his chest.

“Look, I know it’s against the rules, but you guys helped me! So I’ll help you back. I’ll give you a special space to talk it out. Since your safespace is tearing at the seams, you could use a new one!”

That gave the boy pause. “...And how do you do that?”

“I just need you to get me a gizmo from your uncle.” The man pulled up a hologram of some kind of snow globe-looking thingie. “It’s something small. He won’t even know its missing.”

Stan wiped his tears. “I think Sixer had one a those. Maybe it’s in his bag?”

The boy shakily reached into the backpack until he felt cool glass on his hand. He pulled it out, revealing some gadget that looked like a snowglobe but with churning starry matter inside it.

“This it?”

The man smiled larger. “Yeah, that's it! Just hand it over and I’ll do my thing. Unless you’re ready for him to leave you.”

In that moment, Stan looked him in the eyes.

Right in those yellow, slitted eyes.

“Bill Cipher!” Stan screamed.

His heart slammed in his chest. The boy bolted to his feet, clutching the rift close.

It was _Bill_ , he had almost given _Bill_ what he wanted, Blendin was possessed by _Bill_ -

Making him...Billdin?

That didn’t matter. Stan left the backpack behind, just ruining blindly for his life through the woods. He could hear Billdin’s footsteps gaining on him.

It didn’t even matter if Sixer had burned him anymore; Bill Cipher was _dangerous_ and _chasing_ him and-

“ **YOU CAN’T RUN FOREVER, LITTLE FISH!** ” The demon yelled from behind Stan.

“SIXER! GRUNKLE DIPPER, GRAUNTIE MABEL, HELP!” The boy was screaming in terror, clutching the rift close to his chest.

All he had to do was get back to the Shack, just get back to the Shack and he would be safe-

The woods were closing in around him, it was hard to breathe, and-

Oh god, oh GOD, he was gonna die here, Bill was gonna kill him-

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh g-

Stan’s foot snagged on a tree root just forty feet from the Shack. He fell hard, the wind being knocked out of him.

And the shattered glass beneath him made his hands bleed.

For a moment of pure terror, Stan’s heart skipped a beat. Whatever that thing had been, he had broken it.

The pain from his shoulder and his hands and his heart mixed and swirled into a storm of pain, pain, PAIN that swept away everything else.

_Stupid, worthless, can’t do anything right, breaks whatever he touches, stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid, idiot, s u f f o c a t i n g, screw up, loser, scREW UP-_

Billdin grabbed Stan by his collar, lifting him up as the collar dug into the boy’s neck. It was choking him.

_Suffocating to Ford, and now he was suffocating himself. Fitting._

Stan was coughing, gasping for air as the sky turned red. Billdin smiled wide, filling every inch of him with terror.

And Bill Cipher was laughing.

“ **HERE’S THE SAFESPACE I PROMISED, LITTLE FISH! GOODNIGHT!** ”

“wait waIT WAIT-” Stan protested before Billdin snapped his fingers.

The last thing he saw was a red bubble forming as a prison before his vision cut to black.


	2. Somewhere New

Stanley’s eyes shot open to a perfect red void. Confusion clouded his senses. Where was he again? Where was this place?

The last thing he remembered was running into the woods in tears, but this didn’t look like the woods. What happened?

And in a flash, he remembered.

Blendin Blandin, the time traveler guy, and his yellow eyes. Then running, then shattering glass. And then a snap of his fingers, and then nothingness.

“Bill Cipher! The snowglobe thing!” Stan shot to his feet, looking around. “Oh no oh no oh no, they’re going to be so mad at me about this-”

He had broken Sixer’s nerd gizmo, he had _BROKEN_ it and it was _IMPORTANT_. If Sixer and Grunkle dipper didn’t hate Stan already, then he would when he found out.

He started running, desperately looking for the people he knew. 

They had to be ok, right? Obviously Grunkle Dipper and Grauntie Mabel could handle stuff on their own; But Ford! Was he ok?

Bill was loose somewhere and he wasn’t even sure what to do.

Was this Stan’s punishment? Was this purgatory? Was he dead?

That would suck. He didn’t even get to be a teenager.

The space was... frighteningly quiet. No background noise like crickets or wind. Just...silence.

And emptiness.

He plopped down on the ground, laying back. His burn didn’t hurt for the moment, which was good.

The ground didn’t even really have a texture, it was just smooth and cold on nothing.

Was Cipher trying to make him go crazy? Because this was how you make someone go crazy.

Maybe this was his special hell for being such a _screw-up_. Maybe he deserved this.

Isn’t it funny? He wants to go home so bad but at the same time wants nothing less than to leave.

The boy laughed bitterly, staring up at the ceiling of the void.

The ceiling that was melting away.

To Stan’s confusion, the ceiling of the void was slowly melting away to reveal a beautiful blue sky full of clouds. But how had clouds been UNDER the ceiling? That made no sense. Apparently there was a sun too, because soft rays started to heat the air.

The weather was suddenly perfect for Stan inside the void. Huh, this was nice.

The boy sat up, watching the ground beneath him melt away to reveal soft yellow sand. 

From the redness of the void came a beach, and sky, and ocean to his right. The sound of tv static filled the air until it stuttered and was replaced by the sounds of ocean and seagulls.

Interesting.

The smell of taffy and salt water filled the air, as if being artificially pumped in.

ALL of this felt like it was being artificially made for him. But who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

It was better than dealing with Grunkle Dipper and Sixer’s constant nerd talk.

“Hey Lee! Hey Lee!” Speak of the devil, here came Ford.

Stan spun around, smiling. “Ford! Moses I’m glad to see y-”

Stanley stopped in his tracks, his sentence trailing off.

...

Something was wrong with Ford.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and I hoped you enjoyed!  
> Leave reviews/kudos to help Stan break free from Bill's prison!  
> Have a fantastic day, y'all! :-)


	3. Sixer Slick

Something was wrong with Ford.

“Heya Lee. Sup with you?” ‘Ford’ grinned. “You look upset, man. Take a chill pill.”

This person, who looked exactly like his brother, was also...not.

“What? Sixer, this isn’t funny.”

He didn't talk like Ford at all. Ford wasn’t even DRESSED like the brother Stan knew. His hair was slicked back, he had a leather jacket and a blue shirt tucked into dress pants. Sunglasses that looked uncomfortably familiar to Dad’s rested on his face.

“What’s wrong, Lee? I’m just chillin’. Wanna join me?”

“Ford, what the heck are you wearing? Why are you talking like that?” Stan went right up to his brother, poking him in the chest. ‘Ford’ put up his hands in surrender.

“Woah, pump the brakes pal. I’m not TECHNICALLY your brother, but I’m better.”

Stan stopped dead in his tracks. “W-what do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m your brother, but wayyy better! You can call me Sixer Slick.” ‘Ford’ gave Stan finger guns, still grinning. “I’m Ford, but cooler, smarter, and less obnoxious.”

Anger heated Stan’s system. “Ford’s not obnoxious! Don’t say that about him.”

Sixer Slick put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “Bro, come on. He’s always flaunting his accomplishments and his adventures with Grunkle Dipper. He’s always the golden child, the one who gets all the praise. Isn’t that a little irritating sometimes?”

“Only sometimes,” Stan protested. “I actually like when he tells me about that stuff.”

Slick’s smile turned sad. “I’m not taking Grunkle Dipper’s apprenticeship offer either. I’m not gonna leave you behind.”

Every possible sentence died in Stan’s throat. He fought against the shock for the right words to say.

“R-really? You won’t make me go back alone?”

“Of course I won’t! You don't ever have to leave.” Sixer Slick punched him lightly in the arm. “Wherever we go, we go together.”

Tears started to grow in Stan’s eyes as his heart soared. “Promise?”

“I promise, man.”

Sixer Slick wrapped his arm around Stan’s shoulder, The boy in question was smiling so hard it hurt.

“But a-aren’t you going to miss a huge opportunity by saying no? Why would you do that for me?”

“Because it wasn’t what I actually wanted. I wanna be a kid with you, y’know? Actually go to high school instead a bein’ cooped up in a nerd den.”

Stan knew this wasn’t his REAL brother, but Slick was close enough.

Stan tackled Slick in a hug, tears soaking the boy’s leather jacket. “Thank you.  _ Thank you _ .”

“Hey, don't flip your wig about it, bro! Hugs are girly!” Sixer Slick laughed, still hugging Stan back. “Anyway, I’m gonna take you on a tour around Stan Land.”

Stan pulled away from the hug, wiping the remaining tears away. “Stan Land? What’s that?”

Slick gestured to the beach with his hand. “It’s here! You’re the King of Stan Land, Lee. You get to be in charge, man. This place’ll bend to your will!”

“What? That’s crazy talk, Sixer Slick. Stop jokin’ with me.”

“I’m not, I swear!” Sixer Slick started gesturing wildly. “Just think of something, anything you want. It’ll appear!”

Stan grinned, rolling his eyes. “You’re just playin’ around. That’s not real.”

Sixer Slick raised his eyebrows, as if daring Stan to disagree.

“Jeez Slick, fine!” Stan laughed. “I want...uh...some salt water taffy!”

To his surprise, small pieces of wrapped salt water taffy started to rain down on him. He stared up at the cloud it was coming from, mouth hanging open.

“Unreal, ain’t it?” Slick nudged Stanley on the shoulder, collecting pieces of taffy for himself. The two boys laughed. “Wish for something bigger! Cooler!”

“Uh, I wish for a treasure chest! I wish for the Stan O’ War!”

A treasure chest, brimming with gold and jewels, plopped down in the sand at Stan’s feet; It spilled golden doubloons and diamonds that sparkled onto the boy’s sneakers.

On the shore, a cabin cruiser boat the size of a yacht appeared. It was fancy and beautiful and  _ perfect _ and it had the words  **Stan O’ War** printed across its side.

“Radical!” Sixer Slick shouted, running over to it.

Stan chased after him, smiling so wide it hurt. “Wow!”’

The two boys stood in front of the boat, Slick’s arm over Stan’s shoulder. They stood in awe at the new and improved Stan O’ War.

Sixer Slick whistled approvingly at the boat. “All hail King Stanley.”

“All hail King Stanley!” Stan repeated, vibrating with excitement. “D’you think we could live in there or somethin’? Make it like our own personal mansion?”

“I don’t see why not, haha! But in a bit, we should go make a city to explore!”

“Yeah! This place is awesome, I don’t ever wanna leave!”

Stan ran up the dock and into the boat, laughing.

“Never want to leave, huh?” Sixer Slick whispered to himself, watching his brother leave. 

He took off his sunglasses for a moment, letting the sun illuminate the gold of his eyes and the slitted pupils.

He grinned an inhumanly large smile.

“ **Good**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE IDEA FOR SIXER SLICK BELONGS TO MY FRIEND o-lanterns ON TUMBLR, PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT!!
> 
> Anyway, in Mabel Land there was Dippy Fresh, right? Well, shouldn't Stan have something like that for his bubble?  
> Introducing: Sixer Slick. He speaks in mostly 60s slang.
> 
> If you liked, I would really appreciate it if you left a comment or kudos! Have a great day guys! <3


	4. Serious Conversations and Sunsets

Seagulls squaked wildly at the waves, taking flight as Stan ran along the shore. He held a plastic sword in his hand, swinging it. Slick was going to meet him here later, so why not explore the seaside?

The boy plopped down onto the sand, closing his eyes.

The wind lightly tousled his hair as it spread the ocean’s salt. The noises of the new-and-improved Glass Shard Beach were a constant hum in the background, lulling him. The sun was slowly dipping towards the sea, sending gentle waves of coolness his way.

Everything was absolutely perfect.

Which meant that, as Stan knew well, something would come along and ruin everything. 

Maybe not now, maybe not soon. But at some point.

Because everytime Stan finally had somewhere perfect, he always managed to mess it up somehow. 

Sixer Slick was fun to hang out with, but Stan was starting to miss the real Ford. The Ford who can’t talk to girls, the Ford with a million nerdy facts on dinosaurs; That was the brother Stan knew and longed for.

He wished Ford were here.

They could be so happy together! Running and playing and never having to grow up. Getting anything and everything they could ever want.

But at the same time, Ford hated him. It was a hard truth to swallow, but why else would he BRAND his own brother?

You don’t hurt someone like that if you love them.

His eyes still closed, Stan traced designs in the sand. The brand on his shoulder throbbed dully; The ache was a constant metronome of _he hates you, he hates you, Ford hates you and always will hate you_.

And suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Wassup man?” Sixer Slick asked, grinning.

Stan’s eyes flew open as he flinched hard. The younger twin scrambled away from the older’s hand, gasping. Terror surged through his veins like ice, freezing over his heart.

“Please don’t, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Sixer, I’m sorry, please don’t burn me again-” Stan babbled, still trying to get away. Slick kneeled down in the sand nearby him.

“Lee?”

“P-please don’t...my shoulder, it hurts bad…”

“Lee, what’s wrong? You flinched…”

Stan went quiet. “S-sorry.”

“No, no, you don’t have to be sorry.” Slick looked out into the horizon. “Sounds like the other me messed you up, huh?”

Stan said nothing.

“Lee, what’d he do to you? You said he burned you, right?”

Stan said nothing.

“Lee?”

Stan said nothing. The need to speak, to pour his aching heart out itched under his skin.

“Stanley?”

“...he kicked me into a piece of hot metal.” Stan said, barely above a whisper. The boy curled up in on himself, pressing his head into his knees. “He pressed me down onto it too. It hurt so bad, Slick. It still hurts.”

Stan turned to Slick, tears welling up in his eyes. “Slick, he hates me. He’s going to leave me behind. _He hates me so much_.”

Sixer Slick moved over until he was right next to Stan. He slowly, slowly tilted his head until it was on Stan’s shoulder.

“Tell me about it, man.”

And just like that, Stan’s emotional walls broke.

Anger and sadness and hurt surged and mixed like tidal waves in his chest. He was drowning in all of these emotions; In anger, sorrow, regret, hurt, and quiet dread. He had no time to think about the words he said, they all just came tumbling out.

“Ford wants to leave me behind for- for a **STUPID** internship with Grunkle Dipper. And he hates me. He hates me so much he branded me on the shoulder!” Stan yelled into the surf. Sixer Slick shook his head sadly. “A-and nobody likes me. And Grunkle Dipper wishes I wasn’t here. And EVERYBODY ha-hates me because I’m such a _screw-up_ and a _loser_ and…”

He broke down in tears, and Slick held him. _Stop cryin’_ , Stan thought to himself, _it ain’t manly._

But who cared at this point?

A silence stretched between them as Stan sobbed into Slick’s leather jacket.

“Slick, I miss him. I miss the real Ford.”

“But he branded you. Aren’t you angry about that? He wanted to leave you.”

“I miss him anyways.”

“I’ll be him but **better** , man.” Stan went to speak, but Slick cut him off. “I don’t ever wanna leave you, ok? We’re the Mystery Twins! Grunkle Dipper and your Ford are dumb to hate you.”

“Really?” Stan said, drying his tears.

“Yeah! You’re not a screw-up or nothin’. You’re my brother, and you’re the best brother ever. We’ll be best friends ‘till the end, right? We won’t ever have to grow up if we don’t leave here!”

Stan nodded, his sadness slowly melting away. “Yeah. Yeah!”

“Let’s just stay here forever. You and me and paradise! We never have to leave each other, never have to grow up!” Slick smiled. “Wherever we go, we go together!”

Something about that seemed slightly wrong, but Stan pushed it to the side.

“High six?”

“High six!”

The two slapped hands and smiled, watching the sun set over the horizon.

Stan could get used to this.

And far away, in a pyramid in the sky, Bill Cipher laughed.

“ **YOU HUMANS ARE SO EASY TO MANIPULATE. I TOSS AROUND** **_ONE_ ** **LINE ABOUT BEING HIS FRIEND FOREVER, AND I HAVE LITTLE FISH WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER!** ”

The triangle turned back to his captive.

“ **HEY PINETREE! DID YOU KNOW THAT STAN THINKS YOU HATE HIM AND WANT HIM GONE? THINK I SHOULD PLAY UP THAT ANGLE?** ”

His captive growled. “Do not TOUCH him, or I swear Cipher-”

“ **WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, PINETREE? YOU’RE ALL TIED UP AT THE MOMENT. I COULD MAKE A VERSION OF YOU THAT HITS HIM, WOULDN’T THAT BE FUN?** ”

Dipper thrashed in his blue chains, screaming at Cipher to not do it.

“ **BUT ALAS, I CAN’T. HE NEEDS TO STAY PUT, AFTER ALL**.”

His captive growled again, hoping that his great-nephew could hear his thoughts. _Please Stan, whatever’s happening to you, please just bear it a little bit longer_.

Cipher turned back to his captive, his eye glimmering with malice.

The triangle charged up more electricity.

“ **NOW, WHERE WERE WE?** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill Cipher can be VERY manipulative when he wants to be.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Have a fantastic day! :-)


	5. Superpowered Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where I take creative liberties with the comics Stan likes to read.

Stan spun on a chair in his office, grinning. Well, technically his room, but still an office.

His room was the captain’s quarters of the ship. It was decorated with posters and drawing equipment and comics; The dinosaur-shaped lights above casted cool shadows across the many toys scattered on the floor.

And in the corner, there was Slick’s bed.

Not that Sixer Slick ever slept. The bed was simple: It counter the luxuriousness of Stan’s bed with just a simple mattress and frame.

No blankets, no stuffed animals or toys, just a pillow.

It was sort of creepy how he never seemed to sleep, but what was that to get in the way of an epic friendship?

At least Slick didn’t hate him like Ford did.

Stan sighed, rubbing his eyes. _Stop thinking about Ford you dummy_ , Stan thought to himself, _appreciate what you got now._

Sixer Slick entered the room, quiet as a ghost.

“Hey Slick! What’s up?” Stan called, starting to spin around again in his office chair. Slick had gotten a little upset a few minutes ago when Stan said he wanted to go home; Stan hoped that Slick had forgiven him by now.

“Hey Stan, my man. Want a pitt cola?” Slick held up a can.

Stan put out his hand and the cola zipped from Slick’s hand to his. He popped the top, chugging it. “Thanks!”

“Uh, Lee? You might not want to chug it while you’re spinning.” Slick said, stopping the office chair’s spin. Immediately the effects of dizziness set in, and Stan felt sort of like he wanted to throw up. 

“Ugh, you were right, Pointdexter. As usual. Ughhhhh.” He draped himself over the chair, trying to fight the nausea and dizziness. He threw the empty can at Slick, who caught it and threw it back. It donked off of Stan’s forehead and landed on the floor with a clink.

“Anyway, I’ve got a surprise for you! I really think you’ll like it!” Sixer Slick pulled Stan out of the chair and onto his feet. The twin in question stumbled over his feet for a second.

“Can’t it wait until I’m not dizzy anymore? Just a minute or two...”

“Lee, you’ll really like it! Come on!”

Slick took Stan’s hand, pulling his twin along. He dragged Stan through the fancy halls of the Stan O’ War, eventually getting to the deck.

Stan rubbed his eyes, his mouth dropping open. “Is that-”

Several adults and some teens stood in bright costumes on the shorelines, excitedly waving.

“It is! I didn’t know which superhero was your favorite, so I brought them all here!”

Stan bolted down the deck, grinning. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Hi! Captain Nazi Puncher! The Indestructa Buddies!”

A broad-chested man in a flat cap smiled broadly. “Ha! He knows us! Yes, my name is Captain Nazi Puncher, but you can just call me Captain, y’know?”

Stan nodded excitedly. “Ok Captain!”

The superheroes introduced themselves one by one- the Indestructa Buddies as a whole group, others by themselves. And just when Stan thought he had met everyone, Captain’s girlfriend, Lieutenant Skimparella, brought forth two more people.

Two teens, both about Boyish Dan’s age, struck poses with their weapons. Both had electric blue hair and goggles, and both had deep blue jumpsuits. Other than the fact that one was a boy and the other was a girl, they were indistinguishable.

Stan flapped his hands excitedly. “Oh my gosh! You guys are Captain’s new sidekicks, right? You guys are gonna get introduced in the next issue! I saw you guys in the ads!”

The two nodded. “I’m Celine!” yelled the girl, “And this is my brother James!”

Stan was flapping his hands even harder. “Oh my god oh my god! This is so cool!” He turned to Captain with stars in his eyes. “Do I get to go on cool adventures with you guys? Do I get to fight bad guys?!?”

Captain laughed, ruffling Stan’s hair. “You’ve got energy, kiddo. Maybe I’ll let you be one of my sidekicks!”

Stan vibrated with excitement, close to jumping up and down. “Please please please let me be one of your sidekicks! It would be so cool!”

Captains shrugged. “Well, you’d have to train with Celine and James first. It’s a lot of time and effort, but I think I could fit you on the team…”

“HECK YEAH!” Stan cheered, “Of course I’d train with them! I would wanna do that anyway!”

Celine lightly punched Stan in the shoulder and James took his hand. James looked down to him, smiling as he spoke. “C’mon Lee, let’s get training! You’re gonna love it!”

Meanwhile, in the background, Slick opened his yellow eyes again. Staying quiet, he reported the details back to his boss.

_“Lee is content for now. Will not be asking to go home again for a while. I have him secured.”_

A moment of silence passed before Slick heard a response.

**“ROGER THAT. REMEMBER TO KEEP HIM OCCUPIED! HUMANS LIKE HIM GET BORED EASILY.”**

_“Understood. Have a good afternoon, boss.”_

**“WOW, YOU’RE POLITER THAN THE REAL SIXER!”** Slick could hear the sounds of a scuffle on the other end. **“ANYWAYS, I GOTTA GO. PINETREE IS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.”**

_“Goodbye Cipher.”_

He ended the communication with a snap of his fingers. 

Slick closed his eyes again, hiding them behind his sunglasses.

This would be interesting.

  
  


“Alright Stanley, you’re good at the basics! You said you’ve taken boxing before, right?” Celine smiled, dodging Stan’s punches effortlessly.

“Yeah, but you’re dodgin’ ‘em so easily!” The boy huffed, going even faster. He was determined to hit her at least once! This was supposed to be a training fight, not him punching the air.

“Don’t worry kid, I’ve had a bunch of experience in fighting.” She caught his fists, putting them at his sides. “I’ve learned how to dodge. Anyway, you’re great at fighting, kid!”

Stan beamed.

“James’ll help you from here. I’ll put your fighting skills down as top notch!” She gives him a thumbs up, lightly punching him in the arm. The boy laughs, taking off his boxing gloves.

James came over, holding a quarterstaff in one hand and a switchblade in the other.

“Now, Stanley, I think that we should have some weapons training. Extend your hand please?” Stan complied, and the switchblade was put in his palm.

Stan paused. “Am. Am I allowed to have this?”

James just blinked in surprise. “How are we going to do weapons training without the weapon?”

“Yeah, but what if I slip up and hurt myself with it?” He held up the blade, pointing it away from him. His hands shook a little bit.

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” James waved his hand as if to brush the thoughts away. “The weapons we give you will only cut something if you really want it to. It also never breaks, so that’s fun!”

Stan gave the blade an experimental poke, bracing his fingertip for pain. But, to his surprise, the blade just passed through his hand.

“Woah. Ghost switchblade!”

James dragged out a dummy of a person with a red X over the chest. “Now, put all your focus into stabbing this dummy. Imagine all of your energy coursing through your veins; Imagine the fate of the world relies on this one strike!” James gestured excitedly. “Once you feel charged up enough with the intent to stab, strike the target!”

Stan stood there for a moment, taking deep breaths. He thought of his energy traveling down his arm and into his hand.

And then he struck.

The switchblade stabbed into the dummy’s cloth chest, sending bits of cotton innards onto the floor.

“Wow Lee, that was a good strike, especially for a beginner!” James smiled, going over and ruffling Stan’s hair. “I’m proud!”

Stan beamed.

He hadn’t heard that in years.

They kept at it, Stan spearing more and more dummies. James and Celine kept cheering him on, but he wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to keep doing this.

It was starting to feel wrong.

The dummies James and Celine were giving him were starting to look more and more like Grunkle Dipper.

  
  


“ **AN IDEA? OF WHAT?** ” Cipher said to Slick, mixing him a martini.

_“We keep training him, and Lee could be a useful asset. You’ve seen how Pinetree reacts to news of Lee’s predicament. We could use that.”_

“ **AS WHAT? I’M NOT SEEING THE CONNECTION HERE**.”

_“We’re training him to use a switchblade. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pines on your side? I mean, they are quite the close-knit family.”_

The triangle laughed. “ **OH, I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK. WE CAN USE THAT IDEA, SURE**.”

_“I will make him see our side, boss.”_

“ **I KNOW, BUT KEEP THIS IN MIND: KNOWING LITTLE FISH, THIS IS GOING TO BE…** ”

_The triangle looked out of his window to the bubble._

“ **…DIFFICULT**.”

But locked in a dream inside a dream, Stan's loyalty for his family burned on, not to be extinguished.

The boy looked up at the ceiling, shifting uncomfortably.

And softly, a thought started to intrude into his head.

_"I think I might want to go home."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breaking news: Bill Cipher is a massive jerk who can't understand human empathy; Especially Stan's devotion to his family! More at six.  
> So...uh...a lot happens in this chapter.  
> (Please don't kill me, the rescue will come eventually. You've just gotta get the buildup first)


	6. Yet My Heart Still Bleeds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Uh.  
> One of the tags is that it gets worse before it gets better, right?  
> Strap in. It'll get happier soon, I promise. Trigger warning for heavy emotional manipulation, also some child abuse by Filbr*ck.

_“Cipher? This is Slick, reporting back about the plan with Little Fish.”_

**“OH? IS IT GOING WELL?”**

_“Not at all, boss. Looks like we came in too strong out the gate. We need to dial it back.”_

**“UGH. LITTLE FISH ALWAYS DID HAVE A STUBBORNLY STRONG ATTACHMENT TO HIS FELLOW MEATSACKS.”**

_“We tried to get him to attack a training dummy that looked like Pinetree. He refused.”_

**“HUH, YOU** **_DID_ ** **COME IN TOO STRONG RIGHT AWAY. HE’S A STUPID LITTLE CREATURE. LESS STABBING, MORE MANIPULATION, CAPICHE?”**

_“Got it.”_

**“PLUS, MAKE SURE THAT HE KNOWS WHO HIS FRIENDS ARE HERE. THAT BUD GLEEFUL KID IS GETTING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO DEFECTING TO THE MEATSACK’S SIDE.”**

_“So what do I do?”_

**“HOW SHOULD I KNOW? GO ON MORE ADVENTURES WITH HIM OR SOMETHING. TALK TO HIM. HE’S** **_YOUR_ ** **BROTHER, NOT MINE.”**

_“Alright. See you, boss.”_

  
  


Stan sheathed the switchblade and threw it in his pocket, staring at the training dummy.

“I am NOT practicing on that. Nuh-uh. No way.”

“Why not? It’s just a dummy.” Celine said, patting the dummy’s shoulder.

“Look at it! It looks EXACTLY like Grunkle Dipper!” He pointed at it, exasperated and a little scared.

The dummy had the same birthmark, the same clothes, the same tense look on its face. Somehow, the same look in it’s glassy, fake eyes.

“Woah man, looks like we’re getting a little heated here. Let’s all take a chill pill, awright? Lee, come with me, we’re gonna go talk somewhere private.”

Sixer Slick took his hand, leading him out of the training center.

The boy in question remained silent, staring at the dummy. Were they trying to tell him something?

No, of course not, right? They weren’t implying that he should stab Grunkle Dipper, right?

...Right?

  
  


The sun was slowly setting over the horizon. Stan was spacing out, thinking of home.

“-ee. Stanley. Hey, pay attention man.”

Stan snapped to attention. Slick smiled, yet he still looked slightly annoyed.

“S-sorry.”

“Nah, nah, it’s fine dude. We’re going on a mini-adventure. Hop on my harley, would you?”

Stan blinked owlishly. “Uh. Your what?”

True enough, Slick waved his hand and a motorcycle appeared in front of them. It was shiny and black, with silver paint decorating the sides. Stan ogled at it.

“YOU CAN DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE?!?” Stan yelled in excitement, pointing at it. “HOW?”

Sixer Slick laughed. “Anything’s possible here, man. You’ve summoned an entire boat out of thin air; You think me knowing how to drive is weird?”

Stan grinned. “You’re right, Sixer. That’s why you’re the smart one.”

Slick got on the front, putting on a helmet. Strangely, it wasn’t even a motorcycle helmet, but a bicycle helmet. “Put one a’ these on. It’s impossible for you to fall off here, but it looks cool.”

Stan put on the helmet and climbed onto the backseat of the motorcycle. The image of the dummy still lingered in the back of his mind, and he frowned as he looked to the side.

Slick hopped on front, revving the engines. The boy grinned. “Hey Lee, wanna go FAST?”

“Heck yeah I do!” Stan yelled, grabbing onto Slick’s shoulders. "Might as well have something fun before I leave, right?"

“Then hold on!” Slick yelled back, revving his engines. 

And in a split second, they went from standing still to going a hundred miles an hour.

The wind whistled in the boy’s ears, and he found himself cheering on Slick. “CAN IT GO FASTER?”

“YOU BET IT CAN, LEE!”

The boys zoomed even faster, and joy leapt up Stan’s heart, almost lifting him out of his seat. The wind stung his eyes, so he shut them as he cheered.

And then, just as suddenly as it happened, it stopped.

Slick slid off of the Harley, taking off his helmet. “We’re here.”

“Aw hey, why did we stop? C’mon, that was so fun-”

He opened his eyes, only to see something beautiful. They were parked on a large cliff overlooking the ocean and beach. The sun was setting in the horizon, creating a beautiful splash of orange and red on the sky.

Sixer Slick walked out until he was about two feet from the edge, looking to the horizon.

“Hey, Slick? Why are we here?”

“Well, I wanna talk, and it's pretty here. Don't you think it's pretty?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Stan went to Slick’s side, putting his hands in his pockets. 

They stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the sun disappear.

“Lee, just...I have something to ask..” 

Stan gave pause at Slick’s tone of voice. It sounded defeated, tired.

“Alright…? What’s up?”

“Not to be a debbie downer or anything, but…” Slick turned his head, looking Stan straight in the eyes. “Why do you keep asking to leave?”

Stan looked at him like Slick had grown another head. “Because I miss my brother. Why are you asking?”

“Because the reason you came here was because you wanted an escape. We gave you what you wanted, why do you want to leave?”

Stan paused. “Well, you guys are nice and all. But I like reality better.”

Slick gasped for a second. “Sorry. Uh, for future reference: mentioning reality is illegal here.”

“Wh... why?”

The older twin put up his hands in surrender. “Hey man, I didn’t make the rules. But...please. Why do you want to leave?”

Stan sighed. “I already told you. I want to go back to reali- I mean, real life. I can’t stay here forever.”

Slick turned to him, sounding heartbroken. “Why not? Isn’t this place what you wanted?”

“I thought that this was what I wanted. But...I miss my real family.”

Sixer Slick went quiet.

“Slick, you understand that, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll let you leave, but...I just want to remind you what you’re going back to.”

Slick waved his hand, and suddenly the sky was a giant screen.

“Wh- Slick, How did you do that?”

“Again, remember when you summoned an entire boat? This isn’t as hard as you think. Just listen to what I have to show you.”

The screens crackled with static before it brought up an image. It was of a younger Stan, his head held low. Tears running silently down image-Stan’s face as his father yelled in the next room.

 _“He’s_ **_useless_ ** _. An_ **_idiot_ ** _._ **_He’ll never be anything_ ** _, Caryn. Why do we even stand him?”_

The real Stan bit his lip in time with Image-Stan.

With a click, the image changed.

Crampleter laughed, pointing.

 _“God, you’re both_ **_freaks_ ** _! At least the six-fingered freak is smart. You’re just a dumber, sweatier version of him!_ **_No wonder everyone hates you_ ** _.”_

Crampleter whacked the Image-Stan in the back of the head.

Click.

_“_ **_Idiot!_ ** _You broke your glasses again? You’re such a clutz. I’m not buyin’ you another pair, alright? Get that through your thick skull. Stanford takes great care of his,_ **_why can’t you be more like him?_ ** _”_

Click.

_“Why can’t you do anything right?_ **_You always screw EVERYTHING up!_ ** _”_

Click.

Suddenly, it was a scene he recognized. The red light streamed in through a triangle window, illuminating a boy desperately clutching a walkie-talkie. The sound from the device crackled for a moment before playing its noise.

Stan gasped. “No. No, I don’t want to hear this again.” He fell to his knees, clutching at the grass in the ground.

Over the walkie-talkie, he could hear Ford sigh. _“There’s also Stan. He’d be all alone in New Jersey…”_

_“Stan will be fine. He has a magnetic personality. I saw him swindle the police out of giving Mabel a ticket in the sixty seconds they were at the door.”_

He had gotten good at lying over the years. You had to learn what got you beaten by dad and what made him only yell at you, after all.

_“Gosh, we’ve never been apart before…”_

Stan knew what came next, but it hurt just as much as the first time.

**_“And isn’t it suffocating?”_ **

The Stan in the image gasped, tears spilling down his face. The current Stan cried into the grass, gripping his hair so tight it was almost being ripped out.

Click.

The basement portal room, red and blue light pouring in from both sides. Image-Stan and Image-Ford were yelling at each other. 

_No,_ Stan thought, _please don’t make me see this again._

“No- Slick, please don’t make me see this again, I'm begging you-”

_“Why are you so stupid? This is a great opportunity for me, I have to take it!”_

_“I’M stupid? What about all our plans for the Stan O’ War? What about that?”_

_“Lee, that’s not a viable life plan! I can finally be something better!”_

_“You’re leaving me behind, you jerk! It was supposed to be us forever!”_ The Stan in the image yelled.

**_“IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE!”_ **

And there it was- Image-Ford kicked Image-Stan backwards, right into the metal of the machine. Both Stans gave a strangled scream. The current Stan’s shoulder erupted in fiery pain, as if it was the first time it burned. Stan’s heart ached, it _ached_ because anger didn’t fuel him anymore; The sadness hit him like huge tidal waves and made him shiver as he bawled into the grass.

He could vaguely hear Ford stammering apologies up on the screen, trying to help him. He remembered how it felt to punch him directly in the face, hurl his book at him and _run_ ; Run as fast as he could into the woods. The boy let out an inhuman keen as he wrapped his arms around himself.

_It’s not my fault you can’t do anything worthwhile_

_Suffocating_

_Idiot_

_Useless_

_Why can’t you be more like him?_

_It’s not my fault you can’t do anything worthwhile_

_It’s not my fault you can’t do anything worthwhile_

_It’s not my fault you’re_ **_worthless_ **

The screen in the sky turned off, but Stan’s thoughts still swirled around him.

"please...make it stop..."

“Lee, we’re only doing this because we care about you. Reality hurts BAD. I’m just keeping you here to protect you.”

Stan looked up, tears clouding his vision badly. He pulled himself up so that he was kneeling, and he reached for Slick. Slick immediately went to him, kneeling so that they could hug. 

The twins, one fake and one real, embraced each other tightly.

“Please don’t make me leave. Please don’t make me go back to reality.” Stan breathed, barely even a whisper.

“I won’t. I won’t ever abandon you, not like he did.”

The younger twin cried and cried and cried, holding onto Slick like a lifeline. Eventually, Stan’s eyes slowly slid shut as his breathing slowed.

And as the boy fell asleep, night finally came.

Slick opened his yellow eyes again, picking his unknowing prisoner up. _"Boss? I've manipulated him into wanting to stay again. I don't think he'll be asking again."_

And guided by the light of his golden eyes, Slick walked his way to the Stan O' War to put his brother to bed.

Stan’s eyes snapped open to a loud BANG, his bedroom doors flying open, and three people storming in. Where’s Slick when you need him? Thought Stan as he tried to untangle himself from his blankets. 

“There he is! Dan, grab him! Fiddleford, barricade the door!” yelled a voice.

He felt himself be lifted up in the arms of Boyish Dan and he struggled for a moment. 

“Dan? Fiddlenerd? What’re you-”

His eyes landed on the final member of the rescue party.

He gasped. “Sixer?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rescue party has arrived.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed the angst! I just couldn't wait to post this next chapter.


	7. A Rescue Diverted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I am just...pumping out chapters, aren't I?

A man in blue chains stood in an empty void, yelling at the air.

“W-why are you showing me this, Cipher?” Dipper screamed. Was Cipher just trying to make him go crazy from the emptiness?

**“JUST WAIT FOR IT, PINETREE.”**

And suddenly, there it was. Dipper saw his great-nephew Stan on the ground, curling up in on himself. For a heart-stopping moment, Dipper thought he was hurt. But no, he couldn’t see any blood or injuries so what was wrong?

Then he heard it.

The boy was sobbing, clutching himself tight. Whispers swirled in a mini hurricane around him, whispering awful things. 

_ Suffocating idiot,  _ the voices whispered,  _ so worthless. No wonder Ford hates you. No wonder Grunkle Dipper hates you. _

Dipper broke into a run, trying desperately to get to his great-nephew. “That’s not true! Stanley!”

He was running as fast as he could, but Stan always remained the same distance away from him.

“Please...make it stop…” Stan said, sobbing.

Emotions battled in Dipper’s chest. His heart ached for poor Stan while at the same time it burned with anger for Cipher. Fear and anger and sadness and confusion all mixed together just made his heart hurt and his need to comfort the poor boy stronger.

And suddenly, out of the dark, came a strange version of his great-nephew Stanford.

“Stanford, my boy? Is that you?” Dipper stopped in his tracks. It did seem to be Stanford, although the boy was dressed in a strange greaser outfit.

Stanford looked directly at Dipper as he bent down and gave his brother a hug. Dipper keened when he heard Stan’s sobs into Ford’s jacket, but he had to trust that Ford would help his twin.

Dipper watched as Ford picked up his twin, sliding down his sunglasses…

...To reveal yellow eyes.

Dipper gasped, stumbling backwards. “No. No, i-it can’t be.”

This person, this Not-Ford started to laugh, clutching Stan’s prone form to its chest.

“YOU LOSE, OLD MAN!”

And no matter how fast Dipper ran, the thing walked off with Stan into the darkness.

  
  


“Sixer? What the heck is goin’ on?” Stan rubbed his eyes, trying to dislodge himself from Dan’s grip. The door to the bedroom shuddered as something heavy banged against it.

“Those weird teens are comin’ back!” Fiddlenerd said, putting furniture against the door. “We oughta hurry!”

“Uh. Guys?” Stan said, trying to speak over the confusion.

“Don’t worry Stan, we’re going to get you out of this.” Ford put out one of his polydactyl hands in a ‘stay there’ gesture. That one simple gesture sparked a tiny flame of anger in the pit of Stan’s stomach.

“GUYS!” Stan shouted, finally breaking free from Dan’s arms. He raised one of his hands and the room bent to his will, scooping up his brother and his friends into wooden chairs. 

The door finally burst open, making Stan flinch. In ran James and Celine, brandishing quarterstaffs and yelling a war cry.

“Celine, James, stand down. C’mon, it’s just some people I know.”

The two sidekicks grumbled, but retreated back into the Stan O’ War.

Ford shot up from his chair, running his hand through his hair. “Lee, what are you doing? We’re trying to save you from this prison!”

Stan sighed. Would he EVER be allowed to explain things? “It isn’t a prison, Ford. I made this world. Well, I sorta woke up here first, and then started to make this world-” he realized it would be too long of a story. “-Eh, it’s complicated.”

Ford sat back down, uneasy. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying this is my home now!” Stan unrolled a banner that Slick made him; One that said ‘all hail king stanley!’ in big red letters. “I don’t wanna be saved!”

His ‘’Rescue Party'’s mouths dropped.

“Wh- what do ya-” Fiddlenerd stuttered, pushing up his glasses.

Dan growled. “But why?”

“Lee, all of this is crazy! This is a prison created by BILL CIPHER!”

“Yeah, but are you looking around? This place is perfect! It gives you everything you could ever want!” He was starting to vibrate with energy. Suddenly, a toy formed from the air and dropped into Stan’s hand. “Oop, apparently I wanted a clicky thing! Thanks Stan Land!”

He fiddled with the clicker a few times before tossing it onto his bed for later.

“Lee, listen to yourself. This is crazy!” Ford yelled, standing up again. “I’m sorry about our fight and I’m sorry I burned you. But that doesn’t mean you can just stay here forever!”

“Listen to your brother,” Dan piped up from the corner, “You can’t just run away and hide from your problems.”

Stan was thinking of a comeback when he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey man, I knew they wouldn’t understand. They just don’t get you like I do.”

The boy’s head shot up with a smile. “Slick!”

Into the room came Slick on his Harley, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Sup bro? I see your friends finally came.” The fake twin slid off of his motorcycle and clicked off his helmet. He held up one of his polydactyl hands for a High Six, which Stan happily accepted.

“Lee, who is this?” Ford said, disgust in his voice. Stan rolled his eyes.

Slick gave a peace sign. “I’m Sixer Slick. I’m basically you, Poindexter, but cooler in every way. Also, I actually like my little bro and support him, unlike you.”

Slick noogied Stan, who laughed and shoved him off. 

Ford’s face heated. “I-I do like him! How could you say that?”

“Oh  _ please _ . You don’t have to keep pretending, he already knows you hate him.”

Stan could see rage build in Ford’s eyes. Usually his anger was cold, but this time it was hot as fire. “How dare you? Stanley, how could you possibly coexist with THIS guy?”

Slick leaned against the wall, pushing his sunglasses farther up his face. “Woah man, I think you should chill out. Take a chill pill.”

Ford rounded back on Slick. “How about YOU take a chill pill? How about CYANIDE?”

Fiddelford shot up, dragging Ford away from Slick. “Aaaalrightie, ah think we should all calm down.” His southern accent was making a HARD resurgence.

“Come on guys, just give Stan Land a chance! I think you’ll like it.”

“Look, ahm with Stanferd on this one. Gravity Falls is in trouble, and ah really think that-”

Outside, a car honked its horn. “Hey, Fidds!”

Fiddleford’s head snapped to the window. “Emma-Mae? Yer safe!”

“Of course I am, silly. Now, wanna go make some cool death robots?”

Stan suppressed a laugh on the look on Fiddlenerd’s face. His eyes were full of stars, and he had a dopey grin. “Yeah. Yeah ah do. Sorry Ford, ah just, ah just always wanted to do this.”

And with that, Fiddleford hopped out of the port window and ran off to join his girlfriend.

Ford spluttered. “W-wait, Fidds-”

Dan clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Ford. I can’t think of anything that would break me from this mission.”

And exactly when he said that, a burly man who looked like Dan came in through the door, laughing.

“Dan! I’m back for ya, son.”

Dan’s jaw fell slack. “Holy… Dad? Is that you?”

The man laughed. “Of course! Don’t tell me your mother didn’t keep those old photographs of us!”

“No, she did! I used to look at them religiously. I just….Wow.  _ You’re here _ .”

Ford yanked on Dan’s flannel, getting his attention again. “Dan, it’s a trap! Don’t go with him, no matter what he offers you!”

Dan’s Dad, for his part, held up an axe and a fishing rod. “I know that we were robbed of our bondin’ opportunities, but...wanna have them now?”

Dan turned back to Ford guiltily. “Look...I know that this isn’t real, but I just gotta get closure. Just once.” Dan turned back to his Dad, taking the axe. “C’mon Dad, haha!”

And then there were three.

Ford rubbed the space between his eyes. “Okay, this has gone too far. You can’t POSSIBLY think that this is a good thing!”

“Ford, stop being a nerd and  _ feel _ for a second. This place makes people happier! Maybe Stan Land has something for you too?”

Stan started to think of something Ford would like. Maybe dinosaurs? Fiddleford liking him back? Comics?

“NOPE! I’m out.” Ford groaned, storming out of the Stan O’ War.

And then there were two.

Stan could pretend like it didn’t matter, but Ford’s dismissal hurt.

He turned to Slick. “I just want to make them happy, y’know? Why do Ford and I have to disagree on everything?”

Slick patted him on the head. “You don’t need him. You just need me! I’ll always be there for you, man.”

Stan smiled. “Thanks Slick. You’re the best.”

And far away, a triangle cackled with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos if you enjoyed! <3 you all!  
> Also, the next chapter is going to be a little hard to write. Might not get it out in a day or two, sorry!


	8. A Gift Rebuked

Ford walked along the beach, fuming. He kicked up sand with his sneakers; The grains splashing into the surf.

Why couldn’t Stan see that Slick was bad? That guy gave off MAJOR creepy vibes. And no, Ford REFUSED to give Stan Land a chance. This place was a prison made by BILL CIPHER of all demons; And  _ somehow _ Stanley couldn’t see how bad it was.

Ford picked up a small rock, hurling it into the ocean. Even though he didn’t mean to skip it, it skipped perfectly thrice until it fell into the sea with a sploosh.

Stupid magical prison wouldn’t even let him fail at rock throwing.

He groaned. “Ugh, maybe Stan was right. At least the air in here is breathable.”

“Oh hey Sixer, I am?”

“Lee!” Ford whipped around, smiling at his brother. Stan seemed to have changed his clothes. “Why are you dressed like that?”

The younger twin was dressed in a sweater vest, dress pants, and sunglasses. He looked like a stereotypical nerd character in a sitcom.

Stan shrugged. “I dunno. You dress like a nerd everyday, and do I question you?”

Ford laughed. “So have you finally seen my side yet?”

“Well, I had a fight with Slick after you left. He shouldn’t’ve treated you like that.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m glad you’re not talking to him anymore. Glad to know you have some sense, knucklehead.” 

“Eh. He was a jerk anyways.” Stan picked up a rock, skipping it perfectly into the water. “Anyway. What do we do now?”

Ford looked away. “I...I don’t know. I want to leave.”

“Well, can’t we do one last thing before we go?” Stan grinned.

“Well, okay. What do you want to do?”

Stan waved his hand, summoning a DD&MD board. “Up for some Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons?”

Ford smiled wide. He’d been bugging Stan to play it with him all summer! This was finally his chance to-

“Wait. You’re just trying to make me stay here longer!” Anger caught like a spark on a match in Ford’s chest. “I’m not falling for your stupid tricks, Stan!” He pushed his brother lightly.

Stan put up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m finally wanting to play your game! Doesn’t that make you happy?”

Make him  _ HAPPY _ ? “Lee, your stupid tricks aren’t going to make me HAPPY and make me want to stay!”

“Okay. So what should I do to make you happy?” Stan said, smiling vacantly.

“...Why are you acting like this? You’re acting really really weird, Lee.”

“Maybe after we play DD&MD, we can go monster hunting? I’d really like to do that with you.” Stan insisted.

The anger became a small fire that burned in Ford’s chest. “Stop it! Can’t you focus on the issue at hand, knucklehead? You’re so frustrating sometimes!”

“I’m sorry about that. Do you want me to change something for you?”

“Wh- No? No I don’t?” Ford spluttered, endlessly confused. “Why are you acting like this?”

Stan shrugged, smiling. “I mean, you’re the genius here! You’re the better twin; Why wouldn’t I want to make you happy?”

Ford’s blood ran cold. Stanley HATED the term ‘better twin’; Ford never used that term even to joke. Dread coursed through his system, cold as ice.

“You’re not Stanley. Where is my brother?” Ford went up to this fake twin and pushed him.

Finally, the fake Stan’s smile dropped. The sand around his feet started to turn black, and the sky above turned red for a moment.

**“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT, SIX FINGERS.”**

The Fake Stan tilted down his sunglasses, revealing yellow eyes with slitted pupils. Ford stumbled backwards, falling down into the blackened sand. His heart was beating FAST, propelling fear and adrenaline into his system. 

The sun opened up to reveal one of Cipher’s eyes focused directly on him.

**“WE’RE WATCHING YOU~! WE HAVE EYES EVERYWHERE.”**

Ford screamed, trying to get even further away. The Fake Twin gave a mad laugh before suddenly turning into bits of paper and scattering in the wind.

And then there was just Ford, his hands burning from the blackened sand. He forced himself to stand.

“Wh- what hell was that? What the HELL was that?” He screamed into the silence. “I’m losing my mind. We have to get out of here. We have to go back to the real. WORLD!”  
He screamed into the surf. 

Until out of nowhere, he was tackled to the ground by those weird teens. He could see Stan, Fiddleford, and Dan behind them, being kept back by Captain Nazi Puncher.

“Hey! Wh-what’re you guys doing?” He yelled, struggling.

The teens grimaced.

“Stanford Pines, under the article of Stan Land Law, you are hereby accused of breaking one of the most important laws: Mentioning reality! You’ll be banished for this!”

One of the teens took out a knife. Ford started to panic until the teen stabbed the air, ripping open the prison to reveal a gateway to the real world. 

_ Just as apocalyptic as I remember _ , Ford thought sarcastically.

“Lee, you’re better than this! Bill has you hypnotized or something! Help!”

Suddenly, the teens were off of him. Stan stood defensively over Ford, yelling at the teens.

“Hey, back off of him! Don’t banish him, he’s my brother! Can’t we work something else out?”

Out of the crowd came Slick, sliding off of his Harley. “Well, he COULD plead his case to us. Right now, right here. Lee, do you wanna be the judge?”

Stan swallowed. “S-sure, I guess?”

The younger twin offered his hand, helping his brother get up off of the sand.

Slick walked forward, spreading out his arms.

“Welcome people of Stan Land to the ultimate trial! Fantasy versus Reality. Stanford Pines versus the people.”

Ford grabbed Stan’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“You know me as Slick, and I’ll be the guide to this trial. Celine and James will be the prosecution. Celine? James?”

The weird teens stepped forward silently. Slick gave an evil grin.

“You may present your case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be putting off the trial until the next chapter, just so I can make it perfect. The next chapter might not come out in a day or two, but I'll try my best to finish it quickly!


	9. Make Your Case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for a very brief mention of homophobia!
> 
> It's time for emotions :-)

Cold wind blew dramatically across the sand, ruffling people’s hair.

Slick gave an evil grin. “Celine? James? You may present your case.”

Celine and James stood forward, summoning a screen in the air.

“Our case is simple,” James started, pointing at Ford, “this boy thinks that reality is better than fantasy.”

Celine tapped the screen. “But reality is  _ lame _ ,  _ awful _ , and  _ hopeless _ .” Celine kept tapping the screen with the back of her hand; And the words ‘lame’ ‘awful’ and ‘hopeless’ appeared when she said them.

“We’d like to show you the reality that Stanford here loves so much, and show you how it wronged our friend Lee and his brother over their entire lives. Observe.”

Celine tapped the screen and it grew larger. Static played for a split second before an image of a hall of kids. Ford recognized this hall- it was second grade picture day. Image-Ford sat happily next to his brother, laughing and talking in his nice clothes.

Ford looked away, he knew what was coming next.

Unknowingly to the twin boys, a girl had come up behind Image-Ford with a cup of juice; The second Image-Ford noticed she was there, the girl poured juice all over him.

Image-Ford sat there for a moment, shocked, as she yelled “Six fingered FREAK!” and ran away.

Image-Ford sniffled, trembling. Image-Stan reached out to comfort him, but Image-Ford still ran away crying.

Ford looked down at his fingers.  _ That isn’t the whole memory. _

“Come on, that was ONE bad day!” Ford protested.

“One of many.” James said matter-of-factly. “Valentines Day, two years ago: Observe again.”

Stan looked away, out to the horizon.

Celine tapped the screen again. The static re-played for a moment before focusing on something else; Somewhere else.

The image focused on a version of a younger Stan; Sporting a red striped shirt and missing tooth. He sat next to the closed door of the twins’s bedroom.

Image-Stan had tears running down his face as he clutched a piece of pink paper.

Ford could see the current Stan pale.

The pink paper, once in the shape of a heart, fell onto the floor wordlessly. 

“‘M so  _ stupid _ .” Image-Stan murmured, crying. “Of course he’s not into boys. I’m such an idiot.”

The pink paper, a valentine Stan had made, was covered in red marker and hurtful words.

**FREAK, IDIOT, DISGUSTING** \- and other words too, slurs, that Ford didn’t ever want to say.

Tears ran down Image-Stan’s face as he tore the vandalised valentine into tiny pieces. The boy on the screen buried his head in his knees, clutching himself as he cried.

` There was a knock at the door, to which Image-Stan’s head shot up.

“Lee? You’ve locked the door, are you ok?” came Ford’s voice from the screen.

Image-Stan started. “G-go away Ford! Leave me alone…”

“Is this about that valentine you made for-”

“Leave me ALONE!”

Image-Stan buried his head in his knees again, curling up into a ball beside the door.

James tapped the screen and it faded back into static.

“Hey, what’s the point of all of this?” Ford protested. “That’s all in the past.”

“But is your life any better now?” Celine said, giving James a look.

“Heartbreak.” The screen flashed to Ford, sitting alone and watching Fidds hang out with his girlfriend.

“Disaster.” The screen shifted to Stan just a few days ago, clutching his brand as tears flowed down his face.

“Broken promises.” The screen changed to Stan trembling outside of the door as Grauntie Mabel and Grunkle Dipper argued inside.

James turned to Celine, sighing. “That’s reality for you. Out there, it’s nothing but heartbreak.”

Slick came forward. “But in here, we don’t have any of that!” He gave his two-faced, manipulative smile and ruffled Lee’s hair. Anger sparked in Ford’s chest. “I think we have a verdict, don’t we~?”

Ford shot up. “Wait, but I haven’t presented my case yet!”

Slick laughed. “Do you even have a case?”

Rage burned like fire in Ford’s heart, pushing him forward; Pushing him to walk up and take over control of the screen. He looked to Dan and Fidds, who were being held back in the trial’s audience. He then looked over to his twin, who had his eyes screwed shut. 

“Yes, I do. I call as my witness: Stanley Pines!”

The boy in question’s eyes shot open with surprise, his breath hitching, “Wh-what? Sixer, what are you doing?” 

“Lee, please listen.” Ford sighed. “I might not have all the answers. I’m not a superhero, and I’m not cool or stylish like Slick.”

“You BET you’re not.” Slick laughed. Ford shot him a glare.

“Real life sucks sometimes, Lee, I’m not gonna lie. But there’s a better way to get through it than denial, and that’s with the help of people who really care ‘bout you. Just look!”

This time Ford tapped the screen, going back to that picture day hallway. Image-Ford was sniffling as juice dripped down his hair. In ran Image-Stan, holding a cup.

“Hey Sixer! I figured out a way to fix your photo!”

Image-Ford wiped away his tears. “What, you have a million towels?”

Image-Stan smiled sheepishly. “No, but I have a buncha water!”

He took out his cup and dumped it out on his head. The two twins now had matching stains of water on their clothes.

Image-Ford laughed. “Haha! You’re crazy!”

The boys in the image went over to the cameraman, posing as their picture was taken; Water stains and all.

And they were laughing.

Ford tapped the screen and it shifted to Image-Stan crying in the bedroom, ripped-up valentine in hand.

Next to him, a piece of pink paper slipped under the door.

“Hu-huh?” Image-Stan wiped his face, drying his eyes. He picked up the paper, trembling.

The paper had a bunch of smiley faces and tiny hearts; with big black letters that said “FOR MY FAVORITE TWIN :-)” on it.

Image-Stan smiled, crying tears of joy this time. He stood up, unlocking the door to let in his twin; Image-Ford opened his arms for a hug on the other side of the door and Image-Stan complied.

The current Ford smiled at his brother. “Lee, we’ve always been there for each other.”

Images flashed by on the screen. Ford and Stan dressing up for summerween; Stan and Ford giving each other bandaids; Ford rescuing Stan from Bud Gleeful and Stan rescuing Ford from Cipher.

The current Ford smiled sheepishly. “Lee, I thought YOU were living in a stupid fantasy world, but look at me! I was honestly considering taking Grunkle Dipper’s offer. Me, cooped up in a basement without you for the rest of my life?”

“But...Didn’t you want to do that?” Stan argued weakly.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, but we don’t have to be afraid because we’ll be facing it together. I’m not being Grunkle Dipper’s apprentice.” Ford shrugged, still sheepishly smiling. “Hey, we’ve traveled to heck and back together. We’ve gone through heck and back to get you! And we’re leaving together. Let’s beat Bill Cipher and go home together.”

Stan said nothing, but Ford could see a smile forming on his face.

Ford pressed further. “And I’m sorry for how I acted, Lee. I was bein’ a real jerk. I wasn’t thinking of anybody but myself and I’m so, so sorry.”

“But…” Stan looked at him in the eyes, biting his lip. “We fought. Don’t you hate me for that?”

“Just because we’re apart or we have a fight doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop caring about you. We’re the Mystery Twins, Kings of New Jersey!” Ford did jazz hands. “And maybe some day, we might have to go to two different colleges. But if that happens, I won’t stop caring about you. You’re my twin, my little bro. You think you could get rid of me that easy?” Ford laughed softly.

Stan was aggressively wiping tears away now.

“Lee, you don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to. But I’m asking for you to trust me and come with me.”

“Okay.” It looked like Stan was about to cry. “Ford, I’m sorry for doubting that you care about me, but...nobody else does.”

“Wh- who doesn’t like you?”

“Everybody! Grunkle Dipper, Dad, all of our friends! To them, I’m just the useless twin. The brawn to your brain. You may love me, poindexter, but nobody else does.”

Ford tapped the screen and it changed to a kaleidoscope of images; Images of the people of Gravity Falls.

Images of Grunkle Dipper smiling fondly at Stan’s antics, and writing down how impressed he was with the boy in his journals.

Images of Grauntie Mabel, ruffling his hair and talking to anyone who would listen about how amazing her nephews are.

Images of Ford and Fidds sitting on a rooftop, looking at Stan’s bubble. “Stanferd? This summer, a’ve seen amazing things. But a’ve seen nothin’ as amazin’ as you and yer brother. Ah don’t know if it’s dumb luck or natural chemistry, but whenever you two work together, there’s nothin’ y’all can’t accomplish.”

Images of Dan, elbowing Grauntie Mabel and pointing. “That boy, Stanley, right? I like him. He’s got spirit.”

Images of the town giving Stanley the affection Pa never gave him.

And in the middle of it all, there was Stanley. 

There was Stanley, who had hot tears of joy running down his face and a smile so big it hurt; 

There was Stanley, who was so full of joy that his chest hurt.

Stanley, whose heart was soaring above the clouds as he shakily laughed. 

Stanley, so filled with emotions and energy and the will to  _ keep fighting  _ that he rocked back and forth to release some of that energy.

“Do you really mean it?” Stan turned to Fidds and Dan, who smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Alright, order in the court. Order!” yelled James, snapping to get people’s attention back. It didn’t work.

“Sixer, you really mean it? All of that?” Stan turned to his brother, smiling.

Ford nodded as he spoke, opening up his arms. “Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward brother hug?”

James gasped, and Celine pushed him backwards. “Don’t do it, Stanley!”

Slick scowled. “You do this, and it’s all over, Lee.”

Stan pushed past all of them, falling directly into a hug. “Sincere brother hug.”

They laughed as they embraced. 

Ford held Stan as close as he could, and it was finally as if he could breathe again. He could hear his brother’s heartbeat through his shirt, a steady beat that told Ford ‘’ _ I’m here, I’m alive, I’m coming home  _ ’’.

Stan desperately clutched his brother, grinning into Ford’s jacket. The embraces from Slick had felt cold and mechanical; But this one was so human and warm that it told Stan ‘‘ _ I’m here, I still love you, I’m coming home _ ’’.

Stan held up his hand as he pulled away. “High six?”

Ford grinned. “High six.”

They slapped hands, and in that one second, everything stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important conversations might've been had, but do you REALLY think Slick is going to let them go that easily?


	10. Finally Free

As the two brothers high sixed, everything came to a standstill.

The waves stopped crashing on the beach. The wind stopped blowing. Everyone and everything except the twins, Dan, Fidds, and Slick were completely frozen in time.

A slow clap came from behind the twins. 

“Veeeery funny. Hilarious!” Slick said as he clapped, grinning from ear to ear. “Wow.”

He tilted down his sunglasses, revealing yellow, slitted eyes.

Stan gasped and stumbled backwards, shaking slightly.

Ford stepped forward protectively. “You don’t hold any power anymore, Slick. Lee doesn’t want to stay anymore.”

Fiddleford and Dan stepped forward as well. “He’s right. It’s time fer us to go.”

Slick laughed even harder, the sound insane and hysterical. “Oh, you poor simple creatures.” He wiped a tear of laughter from his eyes and flicked it into the sand.

Slick’s hand shot up, and blue energy crackled in his palm as his eyes glowed brighter. The sand reached up and grabbed Ford, Fidds, and Dan; It yanked them to their knees and restrained their hands behind their back.

“Ah-! What the hell?” Dan yelled. Ford struggled against the sand, but it held fast. Slick laughed maniacally as the three slowly started to sink.

“Do you think that I CARE if he wants to leave?” Slick clenched his hand and the sand constricted on his victims.

Panic and dread rose in Stan’s stomach. He reached into his pocket, looking for literally anything he could use to defend himself.

And he pulled out the switchblade James had given him what seemed like ages ago.

Slick laughed. “OH PLEASE! You’re really going to _stab me_ , Lee? You don’t have the guts.”

Stan blanched. “L-let Ford go.”

“Wow. I knew you were an idiot Stanley, but this is a new height.” Slick took a threatening step towards Stan. “You think you can go against me?”

Stan raised his arm like Slick did, trying to make the world bend to his will. To make the sand swallow Slick whole, or drop a piano on his head.

But nothing happened.

“Wh- what? Why isn’t it working?” Stan ran his hand through his hair.

Slick spread out his arms, gesturing to the entire beach. “Because YOU’RE not in charge here anymore.”

The sky bleached blood red as Slick spoke, and the sand turned black and hot. Stan brandished his blade, sweating nervously.

Slick grabbed Stan by the shirt. “We can do this two ways, Lee. The easy way, or the hard way. But either way, we’re going to get on my Harley and go back to the Stan O’ War.” 

Stan struggled, but Slick’s grip was iron. “Let me go! Slick, stop!”

“You REALLY think they care about you, Stanley? You’re an idiot. You’re unlovable.”

“LEE, THAT’S NOT TR-” Sand poured into Ford’s mouth as he tried to keep himself afloat in the sand.

Stan stayed frozen still, mind racing a mile a minute. He needed to think of a plan, something quick. He couldn’t lose Ford again.

Slick put a gentle hand on Stan’s shoulder. “You are worthless, Lee. You can’t do anything! You’re supposed to be the brave one and you can’t even stand up to me.”

Stan swallowed heavily, looking Slick directly in the eyes.

“You’re right, I’m not good at a bunch a’ stuff. But you know what I _am_ good at it?”

Slick narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“Punching. _LEFT HOOK!_ ”

Stan punched with all of the force he had directly at Slick; It connected with the fake twin’s jaw with a crack. Slick’s eyes rolled back into his head as he collapsed to the ground.

Ford, Dan, and Fiddleford were released from their sand prisons and they ran over, dusting themselves off.

“C’mon, I have a plan!” Stan ran over to Slick’s motorcycle, turning it on. 

“Do you know how to drive this thing?” Dan asked, getting on. 

“No clue!” Stan answered, getting in the driver’s seat. Ford held onto the side, eyes squeezed shut.

“That’s reassurin’...” Fidds muttered, holding onto the other side. The Harley revved to life, speeding off down the streets. 

“Lee, what you did back there was really brave-” Ford started, but Stan held up a hand.

“Save it for when we get outta here, alright Sixer? Hold on!”

Dead ahead was the wall of the bubble, deep red with cracks spreading around it’s surface. 

Stan took out the switchblade, popping open the blade. He channeled all of the energy he still had into the hand with holding the knife.

_Just think of the training dummy, just think of the training dummy, just think of how that felt and replicate it._

“HOLD ON!” Stan yelled, pointing the switchblade straight forward. “SORRY STAN LAND, IT’S TIME TO BURST YOUR _BUBBLE!_ ”

The switchblade stabbed into the wall, spreading a crack far up it’s surface. For a heart-stopping second, it looked like it wasn’t going to break, until-

**CRACK!**

The cracks on the wall joined together and the bubble shattered into a million pieces. The pieces blinked red, then yellow, and then exploded into sea foam and blew away.

The motorcycle kept going, racing onto the open air and landing on the grass. The boys fell off of the machine as it collided with the ground, landing safely on the grass.

The Harley sputtered for a moment before dissolving into sea foam and blowing away in the wind; The switchblade melted into sea foam as well in Stan’s hand.

“So. We did it.” Stan grinned. “Woah-”

He was scooped up in a hug by his friends, and he melted into it.

Fidds pushed up his glasses. “That was frickin’ incredible! Ah wish ah coulda punched that jerk too.”

“Yeah!” Dan patted Lee on the head. “Man, for a second I was scared we were gonna be trapped there too.”

Ford just held his brother tightly. “Stan, what he said about you wasn’t true. I need you to know that.”

Stan shrugged. “Well, I mean, he DID make some pretty good points- ACK, YOU’RE CHOKING ME-”

Stan tried to wiggle out of the too-tight embrace, laughing, but he failed.

“Alright Sixer, alright! I was joking! But please know that if you wanna take Grunkle Dipper’s internship, I’m not gonna stop you.”

Ford laughed. “And miss out on your antics? Heck no.”

“I hate to interrupt your brotherly bonding moment,” Dan said, “But we should get going.”

“Fellers, ah think Cipher’s gonna be upon us soon.” Fidds prompted, looking out into the sky.

Stan shrugged again. “Meh, the real world can’t be THAT bad.”

He looked out onto the real world. The real world with it’s newly-red sky and water that fell up; With its pyramid in the sky and giant creatures roaming and roaring; With its blowing wind and eye bats swooping around.

“Ohhhh boy.” Stan groaned. He looked over to Ford, taking his hand.

“We can take shelter in the Mystery Shack, it’s protected there.” Dan said, leading the group into the woods.

And there, in the red sunlight, there it was.

“Yesss, it’s in shambles!” Ford cheered. “Just like we left it!”

There was the Mystery Shack, undamaged by Bill’s agents. The lights were all off except one, which was in the attic window.

They were home again.

“Man, this is the first time I’ve been this happy to go to work.” Dan whistled. Fidds pushed him slightly, smiling,

“Hello house! Man, I’m glad to be back.” Stan yanked Ford along as he ran for the front door, putting his hand on the doorknob.

Suddenly, scuffling noises and whispering was heard behind the door.

Stan backed up, instinctively reaching for his swtichblade. He cursed inwardly when he remembered it had melted into foam along with the bubble.

“Wait, what was that?” Ford asked, keeping his voice low. “Shhh.”

The scuffling began again, what sounded like a bunch of either people or creatures on the inside.

The group looked to each other, nodding. Dan had his axe that he had left on the porch, Fidds had a golf club. Stan and Ford both picked up the crossbow on the steps, giving each other a look.

“Alrightie guys. Let’s get ‘em!” Fidds whispered, grinning.

“3.”

“2.”

“1.”

The group kicked open the door, screaming. “DROP YOUR WEAPONS!” Stan yelled, clenching his fist.

The people in the Mystery Shack yelled back, raising their own weapons-

Until they realized who they were facing.

Stan and Ford’s jaws dropped. “...Grauntie Mabel?”

The older lady, holding a baseball bat, relaxed. She smiled in relief.

“Kids?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thats a wrap, guys! I'm so glad you guys read this story, and I really REALLY hope you enjoyed.
> 
> I might do more parts about the rest of Relativity Weirdmaggedon if you guys would like to read it!
> 
> Have excellent days, you guys. Love y'all!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm like 90% sure that more chapters will be coming within the week.  
> Leave kudos/reviews to help Stan escape Bill's bubble :-)  
> Have a great day, I hope you enjoyed the story so far!


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